我的一天

星期天的早上一遭，本来有的road trip 取消了。。 没有很好好的安排，是我最失误的一次。
但我却不想因为这样，而却怪任何人。。。 因为这样，让我再一次的了解，很多事情还是自己来比较好。。 我开始喜欢上一个人的旅行。。 虽然有拍档，旅程不会寂寞，但是，很多安排上的问题，却不可忽视。。

因为懒惰吧。。 我不喜欢把什么事情都安排得非常好，随性的旅程。。 比较适合我。。

我不能理解的，就是，即然那么勉强，和比当初就一口答应说什么时间都可以。。 我不懂，难道一开始说实话，就拿么难吗？绑了我的时间，最后，却故左右而言他的想要我取消，让我都不知道，到底是有去或没去。。 那又何必呢。。。 只能说，我们并不了解对方，所以，托托拉拉的。。 最后，申么都没有安排。。 最后的最后，我听出了你的不原意。。既然，你开不了口，那就由我说吧。。。”

不过，也因为这样，我今天去看了好几件屋子。。。其实有看到一间不错的，不过还在存钱的我，当然得就没办法咯，不过把今天的经验当成一后的参考，也是不错的。。。

Middle of the night 3am

I did realize that nowadays I really sleep very early. Yesterday, last night, after my recently favourite show "Master Chef Australia", I watch another programme which about animal vet, I just feel tired. Probably was because of the coooling weather here in Perth that made me tired very soon. I'm not sure, but I did notice my biological clock has become super healthy after I reached Perth 2 months ago.

9pm, last time for me was just the night still young. Especially for the job that I worked as previously. Endless workload and just some time just relunctant to continue. Even later you feel you are tired at 9pm but I just dont feel like going to bed until the time is 12am. Even going to bed at 12am, my friend still think that I was a weird one. In this kind of situation, I would just let her know, I'm getting old and need to catch up more sleep. If you dont take care your health now, you are just simply spending your existing health quota.

I always believe 11pm to 2am is the body detox time. After going to bed at 9pm which is the "so" early time, I have being woke up by the BIN TRUCK at 0138. The first time I notice the Bin Truck came so early. I wonder Jen put out the bin at last or not because Tuesday is our Bin Day.

Now, 0333... I'm still awake. Not too sure whether I can back and catch up some sleep till tomorrow morning. But I am still blogging here.. Should have turn off my laptop and back to sleep anytime sooner.

Time flies and I will be morning again.



Downsville (Part1)

Downsville, where is this place? I think is some where near Mandurah. When I tried to google the exact location of Downsville, erm... it doesn'w show it at Western Australia. I wonder why? Probably this town is too new to be in the map?

The reason I were able to go to this place was I have been invited to tag along with my Uncle and Auntie to one of their friend house which was located there. From the conversation, I knew that that was just their holiday home. A holiday home in Mandurah. Near to river with a very tranquile environment to walk around and some time have some natural fertilizer(Kangaroo shit) for the lawn. Really a very nice place.

This is the Recreational Centre of that area. Anybody can just used it as long as you clean it properly after the BBQ. I just like the woody furniture.

This is the kitchen that everybody can used it. The things there are pretty complete that you can cook anything you like.

A BBQ session on Saturday evening

This was a usual BBQ gathering at Alvin's place. We have quite some time didnt have this session. Probably after Jen and Chin and I moved to stay together.

The usual BBQ session, the usual greating, the usual me that I feel a little uneasy to join the conversation. Is it the topic? Or is it me the problem myself? I dont know. They are all nice people but I do have a feeling that my thoughs are always flying away.

The unsual quiet me. Some time I just do feel sorry but just find that a little difficult to join the topic. Even simply bullshit I also find it difficult. I wonder what is the main problem. Is it being the only Malaysian that surrounded with Singaporean? That is the reason that me and them have a slightly different mindset? I'm not too sure with it. People always thinks that Malaysian and Singaporean are more or less similar but I do feel quite different. I think is the comfort zone that Malaysian and Singaporean standing is different.

Sometime I dont want to make myself too isolated. Sigh, I think be myself is the best way of it. Trying too hard to suit people is also a difficult task.

A call back home

Early Saturday morning, when "early" was being mentioned, it is really early. Probably the night before I slept quite early. 1030 pm, for me I still feel was a pretty early timing for me to go to bed but after adopting to the Aussie lifestyle, I always feel tired and slept around this time. Probably is a good and healthy habit to be continue.

So, in due of this, I woke up at 0445 on the Saturday morning. Initial plan was to go back to bed and sleep. But after lying back to the bed, no matter how , I just feel awake. Look at my clock, it is just 0500. In this early morning, I decided to make a call back to my parents. I felt a little guilty of not calling back for some days. With no surprise, my mum picked up the phone. The below was a little conversation between us.

"Ei... Gal.... why you called back in such time? Anything happen to you...."

"No lah... I knew that you and papa woke up to prepare for the stall opening... That's why make a call to you lo....."

My mum knew that I have moved to stay with Jenny and Chin. The next thing she said was about the reason why I moved out in a sudden.

"I told you long ago not to have too much hope with your Uncle. He was my brother and I knew his character well enough. I got my only daughter in Perth to let him take care a while and yet he didnt even notifying me before he let you move out. He had been calling me for many times but I missed the call. Not sure why he called me."

"Probably you just gave him a call back and see what he wanted to tell you."

"Is ok.... I can guess what he wanna said. But Gal, you need to be strong. If you really have any problem, just tell auntie, Auntie is a lot nicer to talk with and she is more understandable."

After my mum said about the uncle part, immediately my tears is rolling in my eye.

"Be strong, everything will be fine and you learn from the experience. You can know a person with little action. I still dont understand why he wanted to let you move out so eagerly."

Ya, me myself also not sure why. Although he tell me he wanna do his tax return things but this excuse was for me and even I told my mum she just thing was not good enough. But we dont want to predict too much with it. I just tell her that, when he wanted to help me move, I decided to move on the day. Although was a early morning and I didnt even pack my things yet, I also packed it up very fast and moved.

Jenny did ask why I move in a sudden. Though will be on the ANZ day, with this , I always have no true answer with it. But deep in my heart I just feel that probably he felt I'm a burden so faster send me off to me independent.

After a short conversation with my mum, my mum passed the phone to my dad. My mum saying my dad missed me dearly. He didnt said much but he said something straight to the point.

"If you feel too difficult to you, if you still cant get a job there, dont worry you just come back to home(Malaysia) will do. There is no big deal at all. "

"Is ok for now... at least a got casual job now... Should be working quite fine now... "

My parents are a bit worry with my situation of not having job. But I still think that I will be fine. Since I have at least 1 casual job being secured, I probably will plan to stay in Perth for 1.5 years at least to finish my CPA Australia exam. Probably a change in environment will let me pass the remaining paper successfully.

The full conversation just take about 12 minutes but it makes my me think of many things. My plans of coming over, going back, continuing finding job , social skill etc. A lot of things suddenly up to my mind. So, in the end, I lie of the bed and started my meditation and chating to calm my mind down. Slowly I fall asleep back.

Cross Road

I wonder why I always have the feeling of standing on the cross road. There always have things that keeep pestering my mind that let me cant even concentrate with everything that I need to do. How should I get rid this kind of feeling? Perhaps the most important thing that I should be concentrate is my CPA studies that will have the exam in two weeks time. Not supposing to be keep thinking of the HBL but why this feeling keep pestering my thinking. Why? Why? Why?

Years back, this is also pestering me. I wanted to work out my own way but yet it always have some rocks and stone that blocking. Perhaps is the wall that I set for myself. I seriously dont know. People seem to be completing it easily but why from my hand is just so difficult. I wonder why. Is it I really not suitable or I am to agressive to be successful and yet I can't reach the target I set for myself.

I keep on breathing very hard to calm myself and yet I seriously don't know what is the point that make me so frustrated. Not having this kind of feeling for very long time already. I keep breathing hard and wanna try to reduce the frustrated feeling and I hope this feeling can slowly go of.

Let it go... Let it go....

Sunset

This is a sunset photo that I like very much. It took at along the Swan River, Perth.



I like sunset with no reason. If you want to have a nice sunset, it really must have some luck before you are able to capture the short timing of it. Those luck include you need to have a nice weather for the whole day, no raining, not hazzy, high view ( but this is not a much), perfect direction for you to capture the sun.

That time when I took this picture, it was out of a sudden when I have a stroll with my Uncle Lai along the river. When I reached this tree I saw the sunset, and the view is just perfect. I grab my camera and just gave it a few shot. The moment is just perfect.

After year, this picture has become my favourite piece of sunset collection. May be just by chance, till today I havent found other place that have this feel. People who are mad with photography would say , photo taking is just about the moment. Yup, I agree, the moment of the inspiration is just very important. Let's have a look with some other sunset picture in different angle.

Seeing through the sun from the tiny little view....

Look at the sky, the colour combination is just awesome....